A man in a small mountain church in Southern Appalachia had "pleasured hisself" with a woman of the town, and the members of the congregation gathered to decide whether or not to "church" him. They met all afternoon, one group arguing to throw him out and the other arguing to forgive him.
Finally one old woman in the back of the church stood up. "Brethern" and sistern," she said, "I've been a member of this church for forty years. All it's ever been around here is fornicate and forgive, fornicate and forgive, fornicate and forgive. And I'm telling you I'm tired of being the one that's always a'doin' the forgivin'!"

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