stray cats

>1. Stray cats will not be fed.
>
>2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.
>
>3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food
>moistened with a little milk.
>
>4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food
>moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps. >
>5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their
>permanent residence.
>
>6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and >cuddled unnecessarily.
>
>7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled >will absolutely not be given a name.
>
>8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the >house at any time.
>
>9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at
>certain times.
>
>10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days >ending in "y".
>
>11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on >or sharpen their claws on the furniture.
>
>12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen >claws on the really good furniture.
>
>13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen >claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches. >
>14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand. >
>15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, >high- impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter. >
>16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter >pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room. >
>17. Stray cats will sleep outside.
>
>18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.
>
>19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.
>
>20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old >blanket.
>
>21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with >non-allergenic lamb's wool pillow.
>
>22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
>
>23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at >the foot.
>
>24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the >covers.
>
>25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the >covers except at the foot.
>
>26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.
>
>27. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.
>
>28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on >the desk when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'puyykmm4hbdm9l >o9jmdskdm,.USING IT.
 

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