In the Courtroom

Q: Officer, what led you to believe that the defendant was under the influence?
A: Because he was argumentary and he couldn't pronounciate his words.
Q: You say you are innocent, yet five people swore they saw you steal the watch.
A: Your Honor, I can produce 500 people who didn't see me steal it.
Q: In court:
A: At the time you first saw Dr. Smith, had you seen him prior to that time?
Q: Please state the location of your right foot immediately prior to impact.
A: At the time my right foot was located at the extreme end of my right leg.
Q: Just what did you do to try to prevent the accident?
A: I closed my eyes and screamed as loud as I could.
Q: So your name is John Smith.And what is your marital status?
A: Fair.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All of my autopsies have been performed on dead people.
Q: Yes, I was acquainted with the decendent.
A: Before or after he died?
Q: Then he says 'I have to kill you because you can identify me'.
A: Did he kill you?
Q: Is your appearance this morning pursuant to the deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No. This is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: At the time you first saw the victim, had you ever seen him prior to that time?
A: I'm not sure.
Q: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
Q: Why did you go to this doctor?
A: A friend of mine had two children with him and said he was very good.
Q: How many times have you comitted suicide?
A: Four times.

List of texts and stories

  1. City Boy
  2. How To Install Software: A 12-Step Program
  3. A Day at the Bar
  4. A Divine Sign
  5. Why did the chicken cross the road?
  6. Religions
  7. How Do You Translate That?
  8. One liners
  9. Have you ever wondered?
  10. Creative Answering Machine Messages
  11. The Biggest Lies of All
  12. Bumper Sticker
  13. Real Church Announcements
  14. In the Courtroom
  15. From Driving Exams
  16. Fun in elevator
  17. From Students' Exams
  18. Kids - questions and answers
  19. Murphy's Military Laws
  20. Newspaper Headlines
  21. How to Pass Your Exams
  22. How to Order Pizza by Phone
  23. Programmer Bulb Jokes
  24. Real Advertisements
  25. Fun With Your Roommate
  26. The World's Thinnest Books