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In the Courtroom

Q: Officer, what led you to believe that the defendant was under the influence?
A: Because he was argumentary and he couldn't pronounciate his words.
Q: You say you are innocent, yet five people swore they saw you steal the watch.
A: Your Honor, I can produce 500 people who didn't see me steal it.
Q: In court:
A: At the time you first saw Dr. Smith, had you seen him prior to that time?
Q: Please state the location of your right foot immediately prior to impact.
A: At the time my right foot was located at the extreme end of my right leg.
Q: Just what did you do to try to prevent the accident?
A: I closed my eyes and screamed as loud as I could.
Q: So your name is John Smith.And what is your marital status?
A: Fair.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All of my autopsies have been performed on dead people.
Q: Yes, I was acquainted with the decendent.
A: Before or after he died?
Q: Then he says 'I have to kill you because you can identify me'.
A: Did he kill you?
Q: Is your appearance this morning pursuant to the deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No. This is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: At the time you first saw the victim, had you ever seen him prior to that time?
A: I'm not sure.
Q: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
Q: Why did you go to this doctor?
A: A friend of mine had two children with him and said he was very good.
Q: How many times have you comitted suicide?
A: Four times.

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In the Courtroom

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